The Conjure Pot

People have many stereotypical opinions about Scorpios; we're freaks, controlling, manipulative, and self-absorbed. I digress! I do not feel I am any of those things. I have the ability to be that way, but so does anyone else. Those traits do not stop at Scorpios! I just needed to clear that up for all the Scorpio haters. So, my birthday was bittersweet, I was injured at Juicy Couture, saw my friends, and actually had fun for the first time since I went to Miami in June. Thank you God, for allowing me to have a rich indulgence of fabulosity. I read a blog this week that sparked my interest, Are Black Girls too Loyal? In a word, YES! We have always been down for our men despite cruelty, been patriotic to a country that openly despises us, and work hard in spite of various forms of prejudice. In my humble opinion, women are more loyal on all levels. We typically see the glass as half-full, we fight vigorously even with the odds stacked against us, and we love hard even when we are being pushed away. Double all those qualities for Black women. The hardships we face in the world, NO OTHER WOMAN COULD EVER IMAGINE! The only reason we are not completely ignored is because our complexion is not fair, but our needs are rarely answered efficiently. I am not saying this to complain, I am saying this to say that, being seen and being heard will always be separate entities. When the two unite, it is a powerful combination! Women have always been discouraged not to merge the two. Double for Black women. That is why we fight. We have a somewhat guarded or stoic stance because our supposed protectors, abandon their jobs. That leaves us weak and vulnerable for anything. So excuse, the few of us with bad tempers or attitudes, we have just had way too many awful experiences not to be cautious and sometimes being a bitch is the only thing a woman has to hold on to.

Haute Asses!

So I am walking through a crowded department store and I see two guys browsing the latest shoes. One guy is wearing a mauve colored, button down cardigan with boot cut JBrand jeans. The other is wearing a Burberry, long sleeved polo with some dirty denim boot cut JBrand jeans on. I immediately assumed them to be a happy, homosexual couple just out and about shopping and enjoying a nice day. Then something truly shocking happened, they were joined by two girls. Both the girls came up and embraced the men, one passionately kissed the guy wearing the Burberry polo. They coupled up and continued to browse. I felt terrible. Terrible because I am automatically assumed both of those men to be gay. Why? Can't two, healthy, viral young men be fashion forward anymore?! Society says no. Whenever a man has a strong sense of fashion or is aware of top designers and hot trends, he must be GAY! No way can a straight man have a keen eye for what is haute without being gay. There has been much speculation on the subject; Trey Songz has a new article written about him weekly regarding his alleged gay lovers, Kanye West is too innovative, stylish, and kooky to be straight, and of course Diddy is too brilliant to not be gay! It is so sad. We have been hypnotized into believing the hype, sadly, so have I! I took a quick glance and made a distinct assumption based on wardrobe and nothing else. I felt ashamed of myself. Men can be fashion forward and not be gay. I have a few friends who live for runways, Vogue magazine, and beautiful Italian leather shoes and they are happily committed to their women. One of those friends is even married! Society places an overly masculine label on all men. Men are supposed to think a certain way, behave a certain way, and even dress a certain way. Anyone who does not conform is "suspect." Is it right? No! Will it change? No! I guess the only thing a person can do, use the famous saying as their personal mantra in everyday life "When you assume, you make an ass out of yourself." And I mostly certainly, made a nice, big, round one out of myself that day. Hopefully, never again!

FOR A SOON TO BE 24 YEAR OLD COLORED GIRL WHO WAS A BUNNY/PLAYBOY BUNNY FOR HALLOWEEN!

Crazy weeks lie ahead, but I am loving every single minute of it! I had to write two tiresome, exhausting, and relatively boring papers for English, but I feel the results were stellar. Now I am gearing up for a informative paper about the often controversial justice Clarence Thomas. This Pol-Sci paper will be my most intriguing yet. The Fair is ending Sunday and my sister and I decided we need to do it right so we will be going and thoroughly enjoying every single ride, funnel cake, candy apple, and deep fried snickers available! Work has pretty much taken over my life for the last couple of weeks. I finished the Haunted Nest job on Halloween and BOY WAS IT AN ADVENTURE! We were supposed to leave at 10pm, it was 10:37pm when we got a call for a bomb threat from two meth-head, acid tripping idiots who were mad because they were thrown out of the Nest for physically assaulting actors! We waited outside in Rawhide (fictional Western town) for an hour and 30 minutes before we rushed in to finish the last couple of scares. The scares were OK, but most of the crowd were so angry at having to wait in the freezing cold for over an hour that they pretty much left. I was a bunny for Halloween. The costume was originally supposed to be a true rabbit but it turned out looking somewhat reminiscent of a playboy bunny! I had fun, met lots of exciting people, got my first taste of horror theatrics, and learned how to make my face look like a skeleton! Oh and I earned an extra $700 bucks for the month of October. When asked the question if I would ever do another Haunted House, I would have to decline. As much fun as it was, hard work does not describe the magnitude of that kind of job. It is simply put, PAINFULLY TOUGH! My god son was born a healthy seven pounds, 9 ounces and he is as cute as a button. I can't wait to meet him. For Colored Girls came out Friday November 5th and my sister and a few friends are going to see it this evening. Every time I think of For Colored Girls, I remember the best part of my college experience. That play changed my life, made me a better woman, and made me want to BE A TRUE ARTIST! Because only an artist like Ntozake Shange could have created something that perfect! The young girl that existed before that play was transformed into a real woman when it was completed. I am so thankful for that experience. I guess God does put you in a certain place for a reason. Had I not mistakenly looked through the paper at the last minute, I would not have seen the audition for The American Academy of Dramatic Arts and gone on to not only audition, but get accepted, do extremely well as a student, graduate with flying colors, and be the artist that I am today. Thank you God, you may not always come when I want you to, but you are always on time!

Cheers to 24!

24 is only 6 years from 30. I know, I know, it is still young but, it is definitely not 17! I have always loved the mere thought of aging gracefully, but am I?!!! Don't get me wrong, I am a far from ungrateful, but I guess I'm greedy. I have always wanted it all. Well maybe "all" takes time, more time than 23 years of life. So maybe I shouldn't be looking at turning 24 as A BAD THING! Maybe it is simply a symbol of what's to come which is incredibly good stuff! No fear, 23 was nice, but 24 is bound to be way better! I pray dear God, I reach that glorious year; happy, healthy, and prepared for the inevitable!

Much Ado About Something

Coming out of my cosmic slump, I decided what I really needed; SOME DAMN EXCITEMENT! I am giving myself the best birthday gift ever, a excitement based, reality makeover. I have found my life most depressing over the following months and I want to change that! I am going to commit myself to the following regime:

• Hard work and a little play
• A glass of wine every night (to help me sleep)
• An allowance for more therapeutic writing, more so than career wise
• Cooking at least 3 days a week
• Regular exercise 5 DAYS A WEEK ( I AM PUSHING MYSELF TO LOOSE 25 PDS FOR HEALTH REASONS)
• Spend more time with my siblings
• Go out at least once every month (movies, shopping, dinner with friends, a trip, travel, etc)
• See my godson at least once every 6 months (hopefully everything 3 months!)
• Apply for new scholarships every week
• Save at least $50 every month
• Call my grandparents and extended family at least once a week
• Spend more time with my parents
• Stop making ominous lists and ACTUALLY START DOING WHAT I SAY I WILL DO!

If you are reading this, a list is only as good as its writers' determination to accomplish said' tasks!

Lost in Translation

When does "it" ever end? The valleys are low and I am definitely going through one. I have been on this sort of roller coaster that has me wondering about some serious things in my life. I do not want to spend an entire lifetime learning a lesson only to die and not have made something good of the message! I have had this sort of pain in my stomach, you know the type of pain that indicates when something is off in your life, relationships, and mostly YOU! This has pushed me to write something very poignant. Sometimes when you doubt yourself the most is when God shows you what you're made of. Right now, I need him to show me so, I can feel it again. I currently feel numb. I am a hollow shell of a woman where a soul and vibrancy once dwell. God help because I don't know what to do anymore......

Cupcakes and Pumpkins and Fairs, OH MY!

Some things just make people happy. For me, its the change of weather from hot to cool. Or cooler in this case. Phoenix has slowly started to embrace fall and I am loving every rainy minute of it! As the sizzling hot valley of the sun simmers in cool climate, I have taken the liberty of creating a happy harvest list. This list consists of must do's for fall. Things that both genders can appreciate and thoroughly enjoy. I love the holidays and Halloween (though technically not a holiday) jump starts all the fun stuff. Here are some fun, generally inexpensive, and exciting things for folks to do:

Go to a pumpkin patch- There is nothing like seeing those gorgeous orange pumpkins and sharing the memory with a loved one, especially young kids. I always feel like I'm five years old! Go pick a winner and carve up at least two. A super scary one for Halloween and a nice, delightful one for Thanksgiving.

Baking- If you don't already, I suggest flipping your TV to the food network and copying those exact recipes. Fall brings so many tasty things to eat; festive cupcakes, cookies, brownies, breads, pastas, and the fall favorite, APPLE CIDER!

Fall Fairs- No matter where you reside, during the fall, there is bound to be a fair within 20 miles of your home. Take advantage of the treats, rides, and most importantly that old, creepy Haunted House!

Shopping- This is the perfect season for building a new, warm wardrobe! Sweaters, socks, hosiery, scarfs, closed toed shoes, and denim are just a few fun accessories best worn during the Fall. TAKE ADVANTAGE!

Sleeping with the window cracked- This isn't necessarily a Fall thing so much as it is better to do during the Fall. I love the way the air feels. It's completely different than Summer, Winter, or Spring. It is cool, warm, and tasty all at the same time! This act should of course be accompanied by a warm blanket or throw, to avoid unwanted colds or the flu!

Fall themed pedicures- Be it on the toes or hands, there is never a shortage of creativeness when it comes to fall pedis and manis. I have seen candy corn nails, green leaf toes, and the infamous pumpkin patch theme throughout the fall season. Indulge yourselves, it only lasts those few short months.

Scary movies- If you're a horror fanatic like myself, Fall is the perfect season for you. Scary movies are plentiful throughout these months. With franchises like Saw, Halloween, and now Paranormal Activity, fall is a bit more creepy.

Halloween & Thanksgiving- The argument of the best Fall holiday of the year varies depending on the person. Some argue, Halloween is the best while others only consider Thanksgiving to be the only Fall holiday. I love them both and I think everyone should ditch their strict diets and fully engage in all the fabulous holiday treats! After all, it is FALL!

and last but, not least

Romance- Of course no one needs a season to be romantic but, one must agree that Fall is a far more romantic season than the others. Walks in the park with the leaves glistening on the ground, hand-holding throughout that beautiful pumpkin patch, spooning on the couch with that cozy throw and the window slightly cracked open, and of course riding that Ferris wheel with the one you love! The best time to do all these things is in the fall!

Happy Harvest!