I Love a Rollercoaster.

Something about the up and down of a roller coaster that makes me giddy. I don't know if it is the huge dips, gusts of wind, or the curves that often take my breath away. Regardless of the reason, I love a roller coaster. I believe the main reason I love it is because it always goes forward and never backwards. It moves closer and closer to the end and then gets a new group of people and keep chugging along. There is some peace in knowing something as trivial as a roller coaster can do that. This time last year, I would have said the following: "I am marrying Jimmy George Samaras, moving to NYC, and going to lead a happy, rich, and balanced life." It is amazing how much you change in a year. A year can bring such clarity, such an invocation of knowledge and pleasure that it will leave you shocked at your previous comments because you change so much constantly. The woman I am today, could never be the woman I was last year, otherwise I am not moving forward with my life, I am staying complacent. I HATE STAYING COMPLACENT! So, I don't. Something that once seemed like the world to me, revealed itself to be the exact opposite. Now, I am happier than ever because I am up and moving forward to the next best thing in my life. I am not certain what that is, but I am excited nonetheless. I went to a wedding yesterday and I had a thought, "These people have known each other for nearly a decade and they are marrying today, it is rare for people to wait, but I am happy that they did." The wedding inspired me to be certain of my future actions. I wasn't always so careful in the past, but I vow to never exhibit careless behavior again. I will let nothing throw me off my roller coaster because I simply must move forward, move on, and move into my destiny.

Yesteryears

I have come across many people in my life; being the child of a Navy father is not easy. It takes consistent dedication and persistence to form the kind of personality that prepares you for the many walks of life you may meet. Upon my journey in travel, I stopped in Phoenix, AZ. for a bit. While I was there, I met some pretty cool people. I met two particular ladies who managed to stay distantly dear to my heart for many years. After several capricious run ins, I DEMANDED WE RECONNECT! Much to my delight they agreed and just like that, it was 2000 again. We met this past weekend for Happy Hour and got very well reacquainted, it felt terrific! All these nostalgic feelings of youth, laughs, and being a preteen rushed over me. I remember the days of holiday oriented braces, shocking hair transformations, and Saturday Centennial Dances in the 7th grade. All of my friends were very good kids, so there was no grinding or dirty dancing, just a circle of girls breaking it down to Backstreet, NSYNC, Britney Spears, Vitamin C, Spice Girls, Puff Daddy (when he was still Puff Daddy), and of course NELLY (My personal fav)! I even found a picture we took at Jungle Jim's on our last day of 8th grade in my closet. I knew I was going to a new high school and would be meeting new friends and things would never be the same between us (my past Navy life flashing before me). Though I was sad, I am happy at 24, we can sit down and catch up over cocktails and Asian cuisine! I am currently loving this wave of positivity in my life, I pray it never ends. Though I tend to never look back, looking back on all the memories I shared with these girls, warms my heart! GOSH, SOMETIMES I MISS BEING A KID!

Signs...

Though, I am a Christian, I am a firm believer in signs, particularly signs that come in threes. My mind has been a complete jumble with all the things going on; Summer school, Fall semester starting, and plenty of personal dramas. I have been possessed by my Travel Writing class, so much to the point of almost changing my major to Journalism with an emphasis on Travel Writing. I know, it sounds excessive, but that is just how much I adore this class. Then, I had a thought, what is the core reason I love this class? Aww haa, BECAUSE I LOVE TRAVEL! My first sign came from a good friend's blog. She dedicated her entry to the one year anniversary of how European Backpacking trip. Her trip was wonderful and it made me think of my glorious European Backpacking trip! I knew it was time to return to Europe or anywhere I haven't been yet. My second sign came from the amazing description of Bali, Indonesia that Rita Gelman provided in the book I was reading for class. Bali was described as a magical, enchanting country with warm people and delicious food. This immediately made me think of the movie Eat, Pray, Love and then I decided to watch it. I FELL IN LOVE! The movie was incredible and glorious in every way. Bali was so beautiful, I just knew I had to go there and see for myself! Sign number three was a little bizarre. I was at my last day of my weight loss boot camp. I was waiting for the printout of my after pictures to go along with my before photos. As I waited, I saw a magazine on the table, National Geographic. I normally shy away from the magazine because I find it to be exploitative and too graphic. Well, this time was different. The magazine's title was "100 of the World's Most Fascinating Places You Must See Before You Die", I immediately opened it and read it! It was surreal! All the breathtaking places in South America, the wondrous art oriented lands of Europe, and the magical ancient areas of Asia had me hooked. That was the last sign, I knew it was time for me to continue with my travels. I have mapped out a list of places I want to go from order according to geography. I plan to start my journeys the summer of 2012 with Lisbon, Portugal being my first country and city. I will then trek through Italy, Malta, Greece, Austria, Croatia, and eventually make my way to Japan. Before the trip of 2012, I will take small, local trips. First, I'm heading to Belize for a little grown n sexy, newly 25 birthday fun. And from then on, I will make it a point to travel to places I have never been no matter near or far. I will be going to Canada, Mexico, and several US. cities. I have no children, husband, or other moral obligations; I OWE IT TO MYSELF TO HAVE ALL THESE INCREDIBLE JOURNEYS BEFORE I AM MOM AND WIFE! I know theses trip will cost, but the experience will be utterly priceless. I cannot wait to embark on theses new journeys and document the experiences. Now, I just hope my next signs will be an indication of the money I will be receiving to finance these glorious trips!

Let's do the Time Warp!

So many people would jump at the opportunity to fast-forward the past and get to the present. They don't mind missing the middle to get to the end. Thankfully, I am not one of those people. I adore the past because it reminds me of so many wonderful memories. And I don't regret my past, I may regret some of the things I did, some of the people I spent it with, but never the entire past. It made me who I am today, so I relish it always. I recently saw Midnight in Paris with my aunt and a friend. Now, normally I am completely anti-Woody Allen (I can't get pass the whole, married adopted daughter thing), but this movie completely won me over! I was pleasantly surprised to see that this movie carefully and cleverly combined the beauty of art and literary titans like Ernest Hemingway, Picasso, and Gertrude Stein. The writing, dialogue, and prose of the movie was sensational and the historical value was especially cool. Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed the movie. I am also happy that I could stomach watching Owen Wilson on screen (he usually bores me and makes me gag). This movie also reminded me of one of my favorite travel excursions to Paris four years ago. I did not have nearly enough time to truly enjoy Paris for the wondrous city is it, but I vow to go back and live each day there like its' my last. Watching the movie also inspired my current writing assignments in my Travel Writing class. This class is so cool because it forces me to remember some of my best experiences traveling all over the world. This makes me happy because I am happiest when I am traveling. Summer is almost over and I have been in school for a year and 7 months, so it is time for a trip. Though it is not international, next trip is to L.A. for a little R & R. I can't wait to soak up some delicious sun with a side of cool summer beach breezes!

With Heavy Hearts, We Give You Back.

             "Though tomorrow is never promised, one should never stop thinking about their future."

-Frankie Gaines

I have already discussed how wise my grandmothers are, so this quote is just one of the many pearls of wisdom that my elders have spared me. I love how something as minuscule as a quote like the above can give such insight into your life. This week has been bumpy one, you know, a roller coaster that constantly throws you off. I have been optimistic, but ultimately confused. I guess the appropriate phrase is... I am in limbo. My great uncle passed away yesterday. I thought the death was one thing, but the aftermath was even more paralyzing. My grandma is rock solid and it takes something as awful as death to see her break. Well, the death of her little brother did it for her. I am a woman, I am emotional, I have a strict no crying in front of me policy; when you cry, I cry. That is exactly what I did. I thought it would bring some small sense of relief or some solace, but it only brought confusion. At first, I thought I was crying because he was gone (which I was), but after I wiped my tears, I assessed what really sent me over the edge. I was crying because I was thinking...thinking about all he had accomplished, all he was leaving behind, and what we were going to do with him gone. It was a crushing moment to take in. See, you only get one life, but no one tells you how to live it, how to right your wrongs, make good decisions, how to treat others, and how to behave. It has to come from life experiences and your interactions within your environment. He was an apostle, god-fearing man, husband, father, friend, brother, and so much more. What is amazing to me is how we can summarize someone's life within an obituary. I mean, the man was 54, I don't think you can appropriately summarize 54. He has done, seen, and endured so much. The experience is immeasurable. But, it is nice to know people care enough to allow others a mere glimpse into his spirit. My confusion is also fueled by my blessings. I have been blessed to thus far, not have lost many people close to me. All of sudden my great-grandma dies, my best friend's father dies, and now my uncle. Death will forever be a confusing and frustrating thing for me to understand, so it is an especially sensitive subject. But, one thing keeps looming in my head; what will people say at my funeral? Will I have kids to speak proudly of their love for their mother? Will I die before my parents or will they be there to write possibly the longest, most emotional obituary in history? Will I have a husband to sit in the front and pay his last respects? I have no idea what the answers are to any of these questions. What I do know is to make my life count every moment of every second. I should be seen and heard and speak louder when someone is trying to muffle my voice. I loved my uncle, but I am happy he is no longer in pain. I am on my way to pay my respects at his funeral. Though the occasion is not a happy one, I love going home because it brings back so many wonderful memories. I love seeing the faces of familiar people, the smell of southern cooking, and hugging my grand parents. All those things make it worth it, but the funeral will be difficult to stomach. Dear God, please bless this journey and guide us as we are all your children. Amen.

What's New?

Though it has been a month and some change, I have missed blogging. So, I am back for the summer! Wow, what a semester. ASU has been "an experience", but more importantly, the beginning of a journey, therefore I am excited. Something has been plaguing me for a while now. The unrequited love in my life is currently overwhelming. Why is it always the guy I am not totally wanting, that serves me all the attention and adoration I could ever want? I spend all my time chasing that pipe dream of a man who has the looks, money, attitude, and personality, but always fall short. I have figured out why; a good man is hard to find, but shitty ones comes a dime a dozen. Plus, women tend to like a lil excitement. A chase can be thrilling, but when the chase is over, just like in a movie, someone is in trouble. Hopefully, it's not you. Well, me in this case. I had the craziest weekend since my 21st birthday this past weekend. I went to a pool party my sister's friend hosted. It was fantastic & eye-opening all at the same time. The city I live in is large, area wise, but circumference wise, it's tiny. And people wise, it's even smaller. I saw too many guys who coulda, woulda, shoulda be "real" beaus, but for some reason they weren't. Maybe it was fate. Who knows? All I know is my weight loss bootcamp is sensational! I have lost 24 lbs. and I feel amazing. I am working on 15 more lbs, but so, far the results are amazing. All n all, this summer has been decent. Summer school is kind of kicking my butt, but I refuse to give up. I using all my fatless energy to gain my momentum towards my initial goal, MY BOOK! Coming soon to a bookstore near you!

God Bless America

So much has happened over the last couple of weeks. One huge thing in particular has happened that had me questioning my feelings. Sunday, May 1st, Osama Bin Laden was captured, killed, and buried. The U.S. military, special agents, and President Barack Obama contributed to his capture. The news was not nearly as amazing as the reactions around the world. Osama was definitely not a fan favorite of Americans, but people were dancing in the streets, singing gospel hymns, and doing back-flips on the White House lawn. I could not believe my eyes. I will never rejoice and celebrate in the death of another man. I do feel his death makes many Americans feel more assured, content, and secure in theirs futures, but what does his death really mean? Will it stop terrorism? Will it end wars between America and other Middle East countries? Will it continue to divide religions and constantly pit Christians against Muslims? I do not have the answers to these questions and I do not believe most people do either. All I know is that his death, after ten years of being pursued, is huge because of the steps taken to achieve. Obama and his team of women and men did what Bush couldn't do in 8 years, in 2 and a half. For that, I am very proud. I was never a fan or supporter of Bush. I love Obama for all the reasons I hate Bush. He is doing what he said he was going to do during his campaign, he appears to care about all people not just the rich, and he is an eloquent dedicated speaker of the house. For those reasons alone, I am content with the death of Osama, not because of his death, but because it happened on Obama's watch. Now, maybe, just maybe, they will learn to respect our president.