Woman Thou Art Loose!

I always feel every single time I go to church, the message is tailor made for me. Today was no different. As I sat in church today trembling in deep thought, I remember the lowest point I had reached in my life some 4 years ago. Everything was upside down and inside out. I prayed for resolution and could never get what I desperately wanted. I realized now that I was not praying for the right things. I was praying for a quick fix and not an eternal change. I just wanted the current pain to dissipate, not permanently relish. All the while I was praying for a solution, I was still doing the same awful things. The Almighty had to let me struggle a little more to realize that all I needed was him, not more money, more men, more acting jobs, just him. Just as Rome was not build in a day, deliverance does not happen overnight; it takes time. I spend a great deal of my time in church reflecting on my past and my future. I often cry when thinking about where I started as a person and where I have been. I often felt shame about my mistakes and shortcomings, but not anymore. Today's message was incredible. The message was "you are not what you do, you are not your past. Shake away those things that hold you back from being great. Be loose!" I immediately began crying thinking about my many failures as a human being and wondered what was in store for me in the near future. Once that message was delivered, I stopped thinking so hard and just began to cry. I began to think about all the times God supported me, loved on me even when I didn't love myself, carried me through burning hot flames, and guided me through treachery times. I do serve an awesome savior and I have a testimony. I have a prophecy and I have a purpose! Thank you Lord for finally opening my eyes!