Monday, July 9, 2012
I have never had so many epiphanies in one week. I must be going for some kind of record! Last week, I spent a great deal of my days reflecting and realizing little truths. Truth; I am not a 9 to 5er. I probably never will be and that is ok. Truth; I have talents and I must share them with the world. I cleverly mapped out a way to do said things. Truth; I grow restless with creativity. A creative soul must have many outlets to release their artistic juices. I have toyed with the idea for months now and I feel it is time to acquiesce. It is time to seize the many opportunities that come with youth and high spirits. As I have said thousands of times before, I must speak my truth. The truth is; I love creating and I love entertaining. I have decided after months of doubts, I would start my own radio show. I dreamt about it since Spring of 2010 and now I feel there is no better time than the present to make it official. I launched my radio show called Vie; It's Complicated last night. I HAD TWO CALLERS! I WAS STOKED! I hope this is only the beginning of moments where I doubt myself, actually proceed to do what I dream of, and watch the dream come truth. Truth; doubts are inevitable, but confidence is key. You must have confidence if you want to be a success in life. I am thankful after many pitfalls and mistakes my confidence is restored! Vie radio launched last night and shall continue! Please tune in and check out previous shows @ http://www.blogtalkradio.com/vie. Blessings just keep coming, thank you almighty!
Sunday, July 1, 2012
As much as I was not enthusiastic about Kindergarten I just knew First grade would be different! I was so excited that warm, fall day. I barely slept all night! I had my new, freshly ironed, Navy blue dress (complete with pleats) ready to wear for my first big day. I was living in Louisiana with my grandparents at the time. My mom and dad packed my sister and I into the car and off we went. As I gnawed on breakfast croissant wiches from Burger King the nervousness set in. Would I fit in? Would this experience be like Kindergarten all over again? Would I have what it takes? I was not so happy and confident as we walked in. Thankfully, the year started without a hitch. Things were great! I made a new best friend almost immediately; Zuri! I had a boyfriend; Roderick! And I thought Sister Mary Francis liked me. Well, once October hit we started reading for the first time. This is where the year shifted for me. I struggled tremendously. Things only got worse when our beloved teacher divided the class into different sections; the advance readers and the slow readers. I was always in the slow group. I thought I was getting better, but I was not. I eventually got tired of trying and just did enough to get by. Sister Mary Francine one told me "You will likely always be in the slow group." That stuck with me for life. She kind of set my tone for education. Everything after that was a blur. I did not care what grades I got, as long as I passed. I never cared for school much after first grade. Things did start to look up by the time I got into 6th grade. I liked Middle school and I wanted to fit in with my uber smart friends so I started to try more than ever. My sister, the genius, always got good grades, so that battle was lost; she was smarter (in my young mind). Sixth grade was when I began to flourish. I was a straight A student. I read better than most of my classmates. WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT THE GIRL WHO WAS ONCE TOLD WOULD "ALWAYS BE IN THE SLOW GROUP" WAS NOW LEADING THE PACK??? Certainly not I! I continued to work hard. A few minor setbacks threatened to change that, but I was relentless to succeed. High school was challenging at times, but it only made me thirstier for greatness. I graduated, went to theatre school, and left all of my past in Phoenix. I thought I would never revisit it, but God had a different plan. He did not want me to run anymore from my struggles and skeletons. He wanted me to face them head on. I moved back 3 years ago from Los Angeles. Straight off the heels of tragedy, I fell into immediate depression. I loved my independence and freedom. I knew that would not be the same in my situation at the moment. After much prayer and help from family, I got my confidence back. I started to think about my college experience in LA and how I always loved writing, but never did it because I did not think I was "smart enough" or a "good reader." I talked to my dad everyday about this and he said, "Punkin, you will never know what you could be until you try." So I did. I signed up for classes at Chandler-Gilbert and I decided NO ONE WOULD TELL ME I WAS NOT SMART ENOUGH! I went through Chandler-Gilbert with ease. I learned so many interesting things, met some fantastic friends, and found my strength to write again. I decided to stop running from college and applied for ASU. I got in and got right to work. Every class and every teacher was exactly what I needed to see that I DO love to learn and that I am not dumb, I am in fact very intelligent per my professors. I write constantly in my classes and I love every second of it. With each paper and blog and I only grow stronger in areas where I always fell short. This summer I tackled the biggest beast of all; math. I never cared for math as I was always so terrible at it. Ever since my stellar year of 6th grade math, I continued to fail in Math. I think it was nervousness and apprehension on my part because all my teachers were helpful and fantastic. Well, I finally got my redemption this summer. I took college Algebra ( a class I held off on forever) and through hard work and ingenuity, I GOT AN A+!!! I could not believe my eyes when I saw my grade! WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THE GIRL WAS ONCE A MATH FAILURE AND BAD READER WOULD MAKE THE DEAN'S LIST AND GET AN A+ IN HER MATH CLASS?? Certainly not I. I could never take credit for any of this because there was a force much bigger propelling me; God. He pushed me to tackle my worst fears, confront my past, and move forward with my life. He has been holding my hand and blessing me the entire time and I could never thank him enough but I know exactly how I can show my appreciation; by continuing to be a success in everything I do because it is not the opinions of a teacher or your friends or family that matters. It is what God thinks of you that matters most and right now I would say he is pretty proud of me, so I am sublimely happy.