Monday, January 17, 2011
It seems that every time something new begins, something has to end. As I am starting school for a new and fresh start, something very personal is ending. There is no need to make public mention of that certain thing, but it has been a long time coming. I AM COMPLETELY SIKED FOR SCHOOL!!! I find that with my age, comes a great deal of maturity. I now feel more prepared for challenges and I feel like school is far more interesting and attainable. I am eager and ready to jump in head first!!! These last couple of weeks have been trying; prepping for a new chapter in my life and yet unexpectedly closing another one. I knew the end was near for a while now, but I did not want to acknowledge it. I can no longer do that. I am now focusing entirely on me. I have been called selfish before, but this time, I will have a damned good reason to be. 2011 is about the 3 L's: Life, Love, and Listening. "You can't listen with your mouth!" My paternal grandma once told me that when I was a little girl. It took me years to finally appreciate this little nugget. I have spent lots of time listening to negative, ignoring obvious realities, and mixing up messages. I believe simply opening my ears would have also opened my heart and in turn made me far more emotionally calm because the opposite has only made my blood pressure rise! A new year in my mind means a new attitude! I have been trying to gain the courage to start hiking this local mountain near my house. I need to exercise & enrich my spirit at the same time. Supposedly, that is what exercise does (sarcasm). I will just go into this blindly and be incredibly optimistic! Even though there are so many NEW things going on in my life, some things never change. In lieu of the new me, I am keeping a little of my old self. I have been watching the entire series Sex and the City! The show never gets old to me and it comforts me which is really what I need right now. Why is it so easy to hone in on the negative? I am putting all my faith into the positive side of me. The negative enjoys a little too much play time! Right now, I am jamming to one of the most beautiful voices I have ever heard, HEATHER HEADLEY!!! The song is called Me Time and timing is perfect. In fact, this song will be the medley for the rest of the year. Big changes ahead, Monnie is finally on the ME train and I am chugging into a truly blessed, beautiful, and bountiful year!
Friday, January 7, 2011
Wow, it has been several days and so much has happened! I hope 2011 is the year where I start to really let my hair down! I cannot wait to see what God has in store for me. While my great-grandma passed away, I have found new ways to look at life. I will no longer complain or spend various hours of my time being angry, what for, I have life! That is all the motivation I need. My immediate I family & I managed to make it all the way to Louisiana from Phoenix. It was a doozy of a journey, but it was so fulfilling. Ironically, the funeral was absolutely beautiful. We sent her up with grace, love, and hope, hope that one day we will be fortunate enough to live even a fraction of 102 years. We did much more traveling. Since we had plans to head to South Carolina for Mrs. Regina's New Years/birthday bash, we rented a car and make the grueling 12 hour journey to my home state. The feeling was simply overwhelming. I never realized how beautiful South Carolina was! I was born there decades ago, but I have not been back since 1990. My homecoming was definitely needed. The state is completely picturesque; REAL palm trees, Spanish moss, warm waters, and friendly faces. I felt right at home. The party was fantastic. We danced the night away. I have some pretty incriminating videos that I will re frame from uploading to sever embarrassment, but let's just say WE DID EVERYTHING BUT THE FUNKY WATUSSY! LOL I needed this break, with my Mama Fannie dying, my grandpa still recovering from a quadruple bypass, and my boyfriend struggling with being the backbone in his family. Mentally and physically life was getting exhausting. No time or energy for anything, but I have left that all in 2010. Life is no picnic, but there is a hereafter, that is definitely what keeps me going. On the way home, I had a thought; why is my New Year's resolution always the same? I always strive to be an overall better person. It never ever changes. Well this year, I have decided to capitalize on my fortunes and misfortunes! I am dedicated more than ever to finish my book and start living with the top down. As much as I hate flying, leaving family, being exhausted, and overspending, the trip was a wake up call. My family and I made it a point to always go home and visit family whenever we can. Our elders are aging and we must cherish every moment. Happy New Year! The thought for the year is "Don't try, DO!" Amen!