Heartbeats and Heartbreaks

Every time I have an epiphany, I question my actions and behavior. Where did this all start? How did I get here? What can I do to fix this feeling if it is not a good one? Etc, etc. One thing that always happens is my heart beats rapidly, almost like it will burst out of my chest. I cannot handle this feeling at that moment, I drop to my knees and ask God to guide me because I am clearly lost. I have been having many epiphanies lately. I am not sure if this is a good thing, but I will assume it isn't a bad thing. I have learned a lot this week. I have learned that sometimes the better person gets the job/position, money isn't going to make itself, men ARE all the same, and YOU are the only one you can blame for YOUR failures. We all have imminent control over our lives, so anyone or thing that threatens that existence, it is up to us to expell them from our lives. I have grappled with a tough decision and after much heartbreak and pain, I have to end one relationship in my life. I am deeply saddened by this decision because I never saw it coming, but maybe it was fate. I am not sure, but I deserve to be happy too. If an epiphany and heartbeats make me rethink my actions in the future and make better decisions, I WILL GLADLY TAKE ONE EVERYDAY OF THE WEEK!