Pieces of Me

It is truly amazing to me how you can be so immensely sad one moment and forget about it in a years time. It is almost the three year anniversary of so many things for me and I am still trying to piece together my emotions. It is also the one year anniversary of my uncle's passing. I thought I would never see the day many of these events transpired, but for what it is worth, I miss them daily despite a momentary lapse in rememberance. I will never forget how cool my cousin Detrain was. He was always abreast of the latest video games, knew all the codes, and could dance his butt off! He flourished into a star athlete and died abruptly. I will never forget him even if I don't cry everyday. Everytime I see an old picture of him or watch old home movies of us as kids, I go through the pain of him being gone all over again. The same thing goes for my Uncle Mike, my old car Sonny, my old life in Los Angeles, and my youth. As I age I realize I have to forgive myself for the mistakes I have made as a young person in order to move forward, but a picture or an song sends me right back in time. I need some sort of pneumonic device to make the process easier. Prayer and writing have been my primary sources of therapy; they definitely work. Hopefully, I will be able to become stable while browsing old films, pictures, and listening to old songs without breaking down. It is a daily process and I am learning each and everyday to forgive myself, forget (for healthy reasons), and press; press forward and press on. Rest in peace my loves and old Oriel. One day, things will be ok between us; just not today.